Before I start on another accunt of the depressing bitter sweet life of a girl stuck in twilight,never truly night bt never truly day, I must say I have found a theme song. It's called leave the peics and it's dedicated to Prince.
Alright so as for today. I will start by saying how fed up I am with myself and people around me. ((Dawn you'r not included)) For one I feel I can never trust myself ,and yet I trust everyone around me. I feel like I think I love Dawn but then here it is Prince ,I think, is starting to go public with his emotions. I mean he has always wanted me ,even when he dumped me for her, but he wanted to give her a chance then he started saying that he liked her....loved her even. I almost wiht that statment had been true. I mena I don't want him to like me but then in the back of my mind would I really care so much if I didn't like him and ,more than the fct that he's an asswhole to like me and try to get me the same way he did her and brake her heart just like he did mine, is I'm really hating him for getting my hopes up and atch them brake once more. As if it's a hobby and nothing more. He gets me thinking I can win him back,wether I do or not I fear the answer is not what I think right now, then destorys it when he doesn't call when he said he would and decides to flaunt his relationship with his little "friend" right infront of me.
Oh Dawn. I do love you ok? My heart brakes as I think of you reading this and then get hurt thinking I don't care or you. I do. I never want to hurt you and I never plan on it. I am never going to brake up with you for the likes of him and thats why this is bothering me so. Because really I just want to go on wiht my life with you and have him go own with his life with er. I don't wan to love him and I don't think I do but ... I don't know I fear it and so the more I think of it the more the fear sets in my head that it's reality.
Im so sorry.
Just know I love you...if it's even fair to claim that of you anymore...
Don't ever leave.
I still need my light.
~Twilight.
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