Twilight Depression-

Well you know those days where everything gets you down? I had one of those days,as the only uplifting thing was to read my Dawn's letter over and over,always keeping it with me, as his ring hung around my neck and the flowers he gave me loomed close by. If he was in town I would run to the safety of his arms. I was crying not a moment ago. It just all seemed to hit me. Then again it would have been life is always this troubling I just haven't noticed until I know that I can't be uplifted by my Dawn. I can't run to his aid the moment something goes wrong or I am afraid.....
He has gone curling for the weekend. If I could, I would have gone with him to watch him curl and so both of us wouldn't have to be away from each other. This is the first time since I recognized that my hate for him was simply a grudge against Prince in not wanting to be heartbroken again and that I actually loved my Dawn.
He gave me flowers and letters for every day he's gone but I find even that is not enough. I miss him terribly. I want to scream aloud and know that ,no matter how far away he is, he will hear me,run home to me and hold me in his arms as I let go the feelings I know I'm holding in.

Now I know a few of you are going to read this and argue me. Or be upset. Don't be. If you are someone who has already be mentioned just know I take no offence. You meant no harm but did not think of you'r actions either. You did not think as you were smiling and trying to give eachother the happyness you had longed for so long.
Don't talk about it either. Let us pretend it never happened as I simply run away from that very thing that caused my breakdown to the point I had to get the ruler of night and day to come save me. I'm so glad I have her.

Anyways so here I was. Missing my loverly Dawn. Awakening (By Mae) played in the background of my head as I tried to not only hold back the tears and lonlyness but try and play DND as well...without thinking that,if this were any other DND week, I would be in his arms and,in a small amount of time, by more than just in his arms.

Yet it seemed life had more thrown in front of me.

Bun-Bun decided that he would ,against my wishes that I had stated LAST DND, to not pay any attention to DND in any way. Sure he roleplay but that's not the same as paying attention. He would get off topic,get really loud and all he seemed to care about was him character being SO funny and flirting with his girlfriend. I think even his girlfriend noticed how un-calm he was being. When I told him it was bothering me he glared at me,got mad, and he even raised his voice.((I would love to say he yelled at me but I know I will be argued. So I won't but that's indeed what it felt like.))

Now think of this. Not two weekends ago me and Dawn were talking as everyone else was playing DND because we were not needed and Bun-Bun REALLY yelled got mad ,split us up and left me feeling like crap.

Now he's even worse and when I kindly tell him,then strongly tell him, he doesn't even listen to me. He tends to argue more about it and get more angry when he knows it's his fault.

So I'm quitting DND. I won't be in a place where I know it's his fault but I can't change him. I can only change myself. SO this is what I'M going to do to make myself happier. I know she won't stop coming. I don't blame her. DND is really fun ,specially when your with your boyfriend, and she really shouldn't have to leave. It's not her fault he gets out of hand when he is only following what seems to be his love and sex drive for someone as amazing as her.

I think the thing I'm going to miss most is the excuse to sleepover with Dawn.
That will suck.
Then again,maybe we can just sleepover alone without all the other people,or at least hang out till really really late.

Twilight.